Choosing to Love

Valentine’s Day isn’t just for lovers, even though that’s how it’s advertised. But those ads can be hurtful for people who don’t have a mate or a date. What is advertised is really more about feelings than what real love is. And you can celebrate Valentine’s Day by loving those around you regardless of your circumstances.

Yes, love is the word we use to describe the special feelings we have for the people we are closest to – our spouses, our parents, our children, our grandchildren, and our close friends. But real love goes beyond feelings and prompts us to show our love with actions. Real love makes us more patient, more kind, more hopeful, more persistent. Real love doesn’t insist on its own way and isn’t irritable or resentful. Real love doesn’t go away, because real love isn’t just a warm, fuzzy feeling; real love is a choice.

And real love is hard work. It’s hard to get love right when people do annoying things. Or when people aren’t loving in return. Or when I have to sacrifice what I want for what someone else needs. Or when life gets harder and all your energy is turned toward other things. Or when you just don’t feel like being patient or kind or very loving. But when Jesus said “love one another” to his disciples, there were no caveats; it was a call to love others all the time – regardless of how they present themselves – in the same way that Jesus loved us and gave his life for us.

I, for one, have to work hard sometimes to love others. I’ve come a long way, but I still have a long way to go. It is helpful for me to remember that I am not always the most lovable person either. I am thankful that it isn’t just up to me and my natural abilities to get love right. We are told in 1 John 4:19 that we are able to love others because God first loved us. He is the source of any love we have to give, and that’s good news! While I have to make the choice moment by moment to love others, the strength I need to get it right comes from God’s Spirit working in and through me. The more I surrender to him, the more I want to love others, even if they aren’t very lovable. And the more lovable I also personally become.

Let’s take the opportunity this Valentine’s Day to choose to love well those around us and to look for ways to spread God’s love wherever we go.