Beyond "I Do"

This week I’m thinking about weddings and marriage.  That’s because in a couple of days my husband and I will celebrate 37 years of married life.  Every year we play an audio tape (no videos way back when!) of our wedding ceremony and remember those two young people whose voices we don’t even recognize anymore.  But we also remember what the pastor who married us and the songs we chose had to say – words that still ring true today.

There are two main passages of Scripture that talk about marriage.  The first one is in Genesis when God created Adam and Eve.  Because Eve was actually created out of Adam (by using one of his ribs), Genesis 2:24 says that a married man and woman become one flesh (the verse begins with the word “therefore”, thus linking these two thoughts in a cause-and-effect relationship). 

The second Scripture is in Ephesians 5, where the apostle Paul talks about the roles of and relationship between husbands and wives.  This is the passage that we asked our pastor to speak on at our wedding.  In a day of women’s liberation and other rebellions to the status quo, we knew that it was important for us to understand what God’s Word had to say about marriage in order for us to choose his way instead of the voices of our peers.  As our pastor pointed out that day, hidden in language of submission and respect that many find abrasive is a profound truth: marriage is intended to be God’s picture on earth of the reality of Christ and his church – a perfect relationship that fulfills God’s purposes and brings great joy.  

My husband and I have not succeeded in perfectly embodying what God intended for our marriage.  As all other humans through the ages have, we have made many mistakes.  But we can still see glimpses of God’s purposes for each of us when we look at our relationship – a union like no other friendship either of us has, and a small reflection of what being in relationship with God means for each of us. 

Just like the oneness that is unique between husband and wife, our individual relationships with God through Christ produce oneness with our Creator.  As 1 Corinthians 6:17 says, “. . . he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.”  The Holy Spirit is the gift God has given us that proves that he abides in us and we abide in him (1 John 4:13).  He has chosen to love us and allow us to enter into unique relationship with him, in spite of our flaws and sins, because of Christ’s death and resurrection.  And he has chosen to give us a beautiful picture of that relationship that we get to experience every day in our marriages – no matter how imperfect they are compared to his ideal.

So many in our society see marriage as a selfish road to their own happiness.  A “what’s in it for me?” mentality has invaded our thinking and defiled what God had in mind.  But we do well to remember that marriage as God intended it is so much bigger than what we get out of it.  While marriage has many benefits that we get to enjoy, it’s not even about us.  It’s about God and how much he loves us and what our relationship with him is all about.  How privileged we are to be a part of telling his story to the world – just by living his truth in our marriages!