Grandma Thoughts

I just returned home from a 12-day visit with my four grandchildren who live in another state. They range in age from 4 to 9 years old and have more energy than I remember personally having for a very long time! Every time I come home after one of these trips, I describe my visit in the same way: I am exhausted but my heart is full.

My own two children are five years apart in age; but it has been over 30 years since they were 4 and 9, and a lot has changed since that time. Not only am I not as young as I used to be, but parenting today also looks a lot different. Technology and cultural shifts have changed how the world operates, and parenting kids today requires skills and approaches unheard of a generation ago. I have often said that I would not want to be parenting my children in today’s world.

But, even though it isn’t directly my responsibility, I love my grandchildren and want them to grow up to be God-followers (as do their parents). Being with them in their home for a few days every few months reminds me of how daunting a task that desire can be for their parents to accomplish. The people who first read the words of Moses in Deuteronomy 6:4-9 lived in a culture and family structure that was more conducive to active daily teaching of God’s Word than our 21^st century American culture is. Sometimes it can seem discouraging.

A lot of people think that grandparents should just have fun with their grandkids and spoil them. They believe that the enjoyment of the grandparents is what matters. But, while I love being with my grandchildren and enjoy doing fun things with them, I am more interested in who they will be in the future as adults and where they will spend eternity. Fun is fleeting, but eternity is forever.

Being a long-distance grandparent has its limitations. And while technology helps considerably, allowing us to have weekly video visits with each of our grandchildren, I miss the human touch that goes along with an in-person visit. There’s nothing like a hug to brighten a grandma’s day! But even with limitations, grandparents can make a difference in the lives of their grandchildren. I’m reminded of another verse in Deuteronomy that is directed at both parents and grandparents: “Make (these things) known to your children and your children’s children” (chapter 4, verse 9). God expects me to be telling my grandchildren who he is and why he’s worth following every chance I get. Along with lots of prayer, this allows me to reinforce what their parents are trying to teach them – whether I live near them or far away.

Aging in our culture can be difficult sometimes. It can be hard to find your value or worth in a society that worships youth. But grandparents have an important role that can outlast them as they help to guide their grandchildren and teach them important lessons from the past. And at the same time, just by being who they are and handing out much-needed hugs, grandchildren are able to help their grandparents navigate an ever-changing world and an unknown future.

 My 4-year-old grandson made me laugh when he told me that I’m “just like a princess” (because he likes the floral cane I use to walk)! In his eyes, my cane is not an indication of my weakness but instead something that makes me special. Proverbs 17:6 comes to mind: because, grandson, if I am a princess – then you are definitely my crown!

Futile Thinking

Maybe it’s because of my math background, or maybe it’s just the way I’m wired. But most of the time I think in a linear fashion. You know, “if A, then B”. Formulas and lists are my friends. I always read the instructions, and I like to follow recipes.

But I’ve lived long enough to know that life doesn’t follow formulas. And, more to the point, our spiritual lives and growth don’t always progress in a linear direction. Sometimes we take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back – or maybe even 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. And sometimes we veer off and get sidetracked on a completely different and useless path. It can be discouraging if you are a serious Christian.

I want to be more mature than I was when I was younger. I want to master negative natural bents and leave them in my past. I don’t want to ever have any lapses. In fact, I don’t even want to remember some of the ways I used to act or respond. I want to consistently be getting better than I was – with no detours.

But I think we have succumbed to the world’s thinking when we expect these kinds of results in our Christian walk. Self-help rhetoric leads us to believe that every change we need or want is within our own power to implement and achieve. We just have to will it and work hard at it. But that’s not how the Christian walk works.

The Bible makes it clear that we cannot save ourselves or improve ourselves on our own. We can’t even trust ourselves, since “the heart is deceitful above all things” (Jeremiah 17:9). It is only by the work of God’s Spirit in us that we make any progress at all (Philippians 2:13). The transformation we are called to is a slow, methodical process that requires the renewal of our minds (Romans 12:2). Because of our sin nature, this process will never be fully completed on this earth (see Romans 7:15-25).

So what can I do with my linear thinking? I need to temper it with the truth of God’s Word when it comes to spiritual matters. I will never reach perfection until heaven, but I still have a responsibility to partner with God in working on my progress toward sanctification (Philippians 2:12 and Romans 12:1-2a). My progress may not always be evident, but God can be trusted to be faithful to complete the work that he began in me (Philippians 1:6). I’m so thankful that becoming more Christlike isn’t left up to me by myself!

Anniversary Thoughts

Three years ago on this date, I wasn’t anticipating the news that was coming that summer or the journey we would be on in the upcoming year. I didn’t know that my husband’s symptom-less liver disease would develop into cancer very quickly. I didn’t know that we would be told that it was inoperable, that he wasn’t a candidate for a transplant, and that he only had weeks to live. I couldn’t be fully prepared for the stress and trauma awaiting our family.

But I also wasn’t aware of the miracle God had planned for us to share in and the work he would do in our lives since then. Today we are celebrating the second anniversary of my husband’s liver transplant and his new lease on life! He is healthier today than he was for many years before the surgery, and we are so thankful to God for the physical and emotional strength he gave us throughout the ordeal of 2021-2022, as well as his amazing grace and perfect peace.

Life is different today than it was before our near-death experience. I’ve learned some valuable lessons along the way. Priorities change; most of the things of the world fade in importance. I try harder to appreciate my loved ones. I try to be grateful and not take anything for granted. I accept both my husband’s and my limitations and celebrate small victories. My expectations are smaller than they used to be. I try to choose joy every day. I feel contented most of the time. 

I would never wish that anyone else would have to face the kind of health concerns and diagnosis that was given to our family. But I have learned through this and other hardships that God’s best work shines through when life looks the darkest. And I have experienced the blessing of God’s comforting presence that only comes when we are in need of comfort. On this anniversary of new life, we thank God for walking with us and safely bringing us through to the other side – and teaching us more about himself along the way. God is good . . . all the time! 

 

 

Foolish Wisdom

I’ve never really been a big fan of April Fools’ Day – probably because I’m not a jokester myself, and I don’t really like surprises. I remember going to school on April 1^st when I was young and being afraid that someone would play a trick on me that would embarrass me or make me look foolish in front of other people.

“Fool” is also not a word I use very often. I prefer to think of myself as wise and to keep company with others who are also acting more from wisdom than foolishness. Fools lack good sense or judgment. Fools aren’t interested in learning and aren’t teachable (Proverbs 1:7). Fools don’t listen to others (Proverbs 18:2) and trust mostly in themselves (Proverbs 28:26). I definitely don’t want to fall into any of these categories.

But because this day falls right after Easter weekend this year, I’ve been thinking about what the Bible says about the gospel message: “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” This passage goes on to say that Jesus became foolish and weak in the world’s eyes in order to put to shame worldly wisdom and strength (1 Corinthians 1:27). A favorite song of mine by Michael Card calls him “God’s Own Fool”:

“When we in our foolishness thought we were wise,

He played the fool and He opened our eyes.

When we in our weakness believed we were strong,

He became helpless to show we were wrong.”

God chose to come to this world in such a way that, once and for all, he silenced all rebellions against his ultimate wisdom and strength.

But it doesn’t always feel like foolishness has been silenced. In fact, in our 21^st century world, it often seems like there are more foolish people than those on the path of wisdom. More people lost and trusting in themselves than those who choose to be saved through surrender to God. Worldly “wisdom” often seems to be winning out over God’s wisdom. There’s a reason for that: “The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit” (1 Corinthians 2:14). Simply put, without the Spirit’s work in our lives, every one of us would be a fool and act foolishly.

Thanks be to God, 1 Corinthians 2 goes on to share this amazing truth in verse 16: “. . . we have the mind of Christ”. What??? Jesus has allowed us to know everything that he was told by God the Father before his mission here on earth (John 15:15), and the Spirit helps us to understand everything we need to follow God (John 16:13-15). We no longer are destined to be fools; the mind of Christ in us allows us to be wise.

On this April Fools’ Day, let’s pray for those around us who are still lost in the foolishness of the world, who need the work of the Spirit in their lives to find true wisdom.

Easter Memories

Maybe it’s because of where I live, but it always takes me by surprise when Easter falls in March. The weather usually still feels like winter, and sun on Easter is rare; so many of the traditional Easter activities don’t fare well in western Washington. Call us deprived, but I don’t believe I ever participated in an Easter egg hunt as a child – and neither did my own children. We always dyed eggs and had Easter baskets; but besides a few cute decorations, that was the extent of our “traditional” Easter events.

But I have many other memories of Easter that remind me why we celebrate this day at all. Spending half of my childhood in sunny California, I remember many sun-filled Easters with outdoor activities. I remember early morning Sunrise Services at Tucker’s Grove Park before regular church services later in the morning. After we moved to a small town in Washington when I was nine, I remember a couple sunrise services at the new high school stadium . . . but they were cold and windy, and it was hard to really celebrate. When the services got moved indoors in later years, it was even harder to feel the same excitement as I remember in SoCal. I do remember joyful times as a high schooler or college student sharing breakfast with a large group of friends at our associate pastor’s house between the sunrise service and the regular church service.

I remember my Mom making a bunny or cross-shaped cake for dessert on Easter, and I almost always made a cross-shaped cake while my kids were growing up. We always had See’s Candies for Easter, especially chocolate bunnies and eggs. I still get some every year for myself! After I was an adult, a family favorite for many years in my extended family was my Dad’s special breakfast roll, which we shared together along with ham and fresh fruit salad for brunch after attending church services together. Now that Mom and Dad are gone and the extended family has scattered, I miss these traditions and our time spent together. 

I will always remember one Easter when I was 9 years old because it definitely didn’t go as planned. My grandmother had passed and we no longer lived near any other family, and we had been invited by a family in our church to share Easter dinner with them. I don’t recall any children around my age in their family, so my brother and I were outside playing after dinner. I was riding one of their bikes in a circle around the edges of their backyard pool, wearing my beautiful pastel plaid skirt, white frilly blouse, and fancy church shoes. Out of nowhere, their large dog ran out in front of me looking for a playmate. Yep, I swerved suddenly – and the bike and I both took an unexpected Easter swim! My parents were embarrassed and mortified, and so was I. I still remember the adult-sized sweatshirt I wore for the rest of the afternoon while our hosts graciously dried my clothes in their dryer.

By far my most meaningful Easter memories come from our many years of involvement in worship ministry at our church and the many special Easter services we participated in, some of which took place at the high school auditorium in our small town. Preparation for those services began weeks in advance with instrumental and choir practices; and setup usually started the day before Easter and included a dress rehearsal. During this timeframe, we also usually had a Good Friday service that required preparation as well. One year I also sang in a Living Cross community production in a neighboring city! It was truly the best of times, and I’m so grateful for the great memories I have from so many years.

On a couple of occasions, however, we were fortunate enough to have Easter fall on the same weekend as the annual Fiddlers’ Fest (which was always held at the high school on the first weekend of April)! When that happened, we had to do our dress rehearsal on Thursday evening and then tear everything down for their event on Friday and Saturday evenings – only to set everything back up again very late on Saturday night and come early on Easter morning to do another run-through before the service later in the morning. Even now, I’m exhausted just thinking about it!

In our culture, much of Easter’s true meaning has been lost. But I will still be at church on Good Friday and on Easter morning, because without the death and resurrection of Jesus there is nothing to celebrate. And for me there is nothing more important to focus on and to be thankful for. While spring gives us the opportunity to celebrate new life, only the message of Easter allows us to personally experience new life. May you spend this Easter week thanking God for his indescribable gift!