Grandma Thoughts

I just returned home from a 12-day visit with my four grandchildren who live in another state. They range in age from 4 to 9 years old and have more energy than I remember personally having for a very long time! Every time I come home after one of these trips, I describe my visit in the same way: I am exhausted but my heart is full.

My own two children are five years apart in age; but it has been over 30 years since they were 4 and 9, and a lot has changed since that time. Not only am I not as young as I used to be, but parenting today also looks a lot different. Technology and cultural shifts have changed how the world operates, and parenting kids today requires skills and approaches unheard of a generation ago. I have often said that I would not want to be parenting my children in today’s world.

But, even though it isn’t directly my responsibility, I love my grandchildren and want them to grow up to be God-followers (as do their parents). Being with them in their home for a few days every few months reminds me of how daunting a task that desire can be for their parents to accomplish. The people who first read the words of Moses in Deuteronomy 6:4-9 lived in a culture and family structure that was more conducive to active daily teaching of God’s Word than our 21^st century American culture is. Sometimes it can seem discouraging.

A lot of people think that grandparents should just have fun with their grandkids and spoil them. They believe that the enjoyment of the grandparents is what matters. But, while I love being with my grandchildren and enjoy doing fun things with them, I am more interested in who they will be in the future as adults and where they will spend eternity. Fun is fleeting, but eternity is forever.

Being a long-distance grandparent has its limitations. And while technology helps considerably, allowing us to have weekly video visits with each of our grandchildren, I miss the human touch that goes along with an in-person visit. There’s nothing like a hug to brighten a grandma’s day! But even with limitations, grandparents can make a difference in the lives of their grandchildren. I’m reminded of another verse in Deuteronomy that is directed at both parents and grandparents: “Make (these things) known to your children and your children’s children” (chapter 4, verse 9). God expects me to be telling my grandchildren who he is and why he’s worth following every chance I get. Along with lots of prayer, this allows me to reinforce what their parents are trying to teach them – whether I live near them or far away.

Aging in our culture can be difficult sometimes. It can be hard to find your value or worth in a society that worships youth. But grandparents have an important role that can outlast them as they help to guide their grandchildren and teach them important lessons from the past. And at the same time, just by being who they are and handing out much-needed hugs, grandchildren are able to help their grandparents navigate an ever-changing world and an unknown future.

 My 4-year-old grandson made me laugh when he told me that I’m “just like a princess” (because he likes the floral cane I use to walk)! In his eyes, my cane is not an indication of my weakness but instead something that makes me special. Proverbs 17:6 comes to mind: because, grandson, if I am a princess – then you are definitely my crown!