It was 1978. He had just turned eighteen, and I was barely twenty. Our eyes met at an all-campus event the first week of school at our college; and in the weeks that followed we had friendly exchanges while my roommate and I continued our practice from the previous year of eating dinner with members from the fifth floor of a neighboring dorm . . . which just happened to be the floor my future husband was living on during his first semester on campus that Fall.
Our first date (on a Thursday night) wasn’t glamorous, but it was meaningful. He asked me to go to a concert on campus, but we could only attend the first half because I was playing in an intramural volleyball game later in the evening. He came to watch my game as part of our date, and he thought I might be an athlete like he was . . . until he saw me play. He didn’t tell me his impression until much later! After the game, we took a walk along the canal that ran next to the gym.
I’ll admit that, in my third year of college, I was looking for a possible future husband. I had dated enough guys in the first two years to at least know what I didn’t want. Ron seemed different, and I was immediately struck by how well he treated me and his obvious affection for me. We discovered early on that we shared a love of music and of travel. We both fell quickly and never looked back – marrying 21 months later.
That first date seems like a lifetime ago, and in a lot of ways it was. Forty-seven years is a long time! And marriage has brought many ups and downs. The traditional vows have taken on new meanings as we have experienced life together – for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. We have disappointed each other many times, but we have chosen to forgive the other one over and over through the years. And we both still love music and still love to travel!
My brother and I got married the same year, and I have never forgotten a message that my new sister-in-law received from a relative of hers whose husband had made some choices that had created difficulty for his family. A simple phrase that summed up her approach to making her marriage work: “A happy marriage isn’t about marrying the right partner . . . it’s about being the right partner.”
As I continue to add years to the timeframe since my first date with my husband-to-be, and as life continues to be a journey of ups and downs, I’m asking God to help me every day to be the kind of partner that brings happiness and joy to my marriage. And to trust God for the things I can’t control or change. We have less years ahead of us than those behind, but together we can continue to face the future with love for each other and guided by God as we have been since that first date so many years ago.
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