We Still Do

Weddings are fun – most new beginnings are.  But marriage is where the rubber meets the road; it is the daily working-out of promises made at the wedding.  Celebrating our anniversary this past week has reminded me of my own wedding 39 years ago.

My husband and I always smile and squeeze each other’s hands when we attend a wedding.  We listen to the vows being said and remember with fondness the vows we made so many years ago.  But we smile because we now know that marriage is really nothing like the wedding.  While we meant with all of our hearts every word we said that day, we really had no idea what living out those vows would mean in the years ahead.  Our love-starred eyes could only see the present while we made long-term promises for the future.  And while faithfulness to each other has never been an issue, facing the challenges that life has brought and continues to bring to us hasn’t always been easy.

What does commitment in marriage look like when life is long and perhaps includes more “worse” than “better”, more “sickness” than “health”, or more “poorer” than “richer”?  Yes, our marriage has also had much joy – shared experiences, raising children, becoming grandparents, serving together in ministry, traveling.  I am very grateful for the opportunity to “do life” together and for the continued blessing of God on our marriage.  But our commitment to each other and to God has to be our guide as well as what we lean on when the things we share (such as our recent anniversary) include one of us recovering from unexpected surgery, throwing up all night, and needing the other’s help to change wound dressings.  No dinner or flowers this year!  Life together is not always fun, but we are blessed to have each other to walk with.

And we are grateful that the two of us do not walk alone.  God, who came up with the idea of marriage, has been walking with us for nearly four decades now – and we can be sure that he will not stop.  His completely faithful commitment to each of us individually and together as a couple will never waver; his character makes it impossible for him to be unfaithful (Psalm 146:6).  As we acknowledged through a song that was sung at our wedding, the vows we made that day were “the binding of a promise between God, a woman, and a man”.  Staying faithful to those vows may seem more difficult when life is hard, but it really is as simple as continuing to draw our strength and commitment from God’s strength and his commitment to us.

Then we’re able to say, “we still do” – bring on the rest of our life together!