Thinking About Relationships

Human relationships are never easy.  In fact, sometimes they’re downright messy.  Because we are all imperfect people, there are no perfect relationships.  I will hurt people, and people will hurt me.  It’s just part of living in a fallen world.  And no matter how hard we try, we cannot make things work differently this side of heaven.  Now that probably sounds pretty negative to some people, but here’s how the Lord has been encouraging me lately:

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”        Ephesians 6:12

Every time I struggle in a human relationship, I need to remember that the other person isn’t the problem – Satan is.  He is the one who seeks disunity and chaos, and he will do anything he can to accomplish it, especially among Christians . . . because his negative work in relationships often keeps one or both people sidelined for kingdom work – and that was his goal all along.  But here’s the kicker: since Satan is the “father of lies” (John 8:44), he deceives both people in a relationship into thinking they alone are the one who is “right”; and so the enemy’s work wins.

God has also been reminding me of something else.  While we find it easy to elevate human relationships as the most important, ultimately God is more interested in our relationship with him (Matthew 10:37-39).  Regardless of whether reconciliation and restoration of a human relationship occurs, of primary importance is both people’s relationships with God. 

Which brings me to the practical part of this.  While we are to seek to live at peace with all people (Hebrews 12:14), Jesus acknowledged that this was not always going to happen.  So he told us what to do when relationships break down: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28).  Probably not the first thing we want to do when the imperfection of human relationships rears its head, but well worth the effort if we want to keep growing with God and hope the same for the other person.